Write a Life Challenge

Back at the end of November/early December Natalie Pithers set us a 10 day challenge over in the #CuriousDescendantsClub.

The aim was to select an ancestor and a particular challenge they may have faced in their lives, then to focus in on that aspect and write about it. We could look at the wider aspect of their life, the times they lived in alongside the social and family setting to give some background and context to the decisions they may have had to make. Obviously, although we would be able to ascertain the definitive facts we had to use a bit of creative license to help us put life into the situation. 

I chose to write about my Gt-gt-grandmother Mary and my Great-Grandfather John who was born out of wedlock. 

I'm sharing a small extract of my writing below : 

4th September 1871

Mary raised her long skirt as she squatted down in front of the fireplace to face her young son John, not wanting it to trail in the ash she had just been about to sweep up, and telling herself it was the smell of soot in the air that was making her eyes sting. She smiled sadly as she reached out gently to brush one of his dark curls away from his bright blue eyes, recognising how much like his long gone father’s they were. Her mind briefly thought back to the last time she had seen him, the night before he had left. He had seemed so true, those same eyes sparkling with excitement as they spoke of the future they would have together; he was going ahead, initially to lodge with family, a cousin, but told her he would bring her to him when he had been able to secure a cottage for them. It made sense at the time she recalled, they had been meeting in secret and Ann’s marriage to William Hawkey was already set for the following year, and Mary needed to stay and keep house for her still grieving father who had lost his eldest son John, his wife Mary and daughter Catherine in the space of a twelve-month.

She’d understood of course that it would take time for him to establish himself, and she didn’t see him for two months, when he attended the Methodist Chapel in Hetton-le-Hole with his parents, he smiled at her and winked, but she didn’t get chance to speak with him. She was kept busy in any case, cooking and cleaning, fetching water, and helping her sister Ann with her dress, and time soon passed, before she knew it her betrothed had been gone five months and she had only seen him once from a distance. She didn’t notice at first, but one day Ann was complaining of a belly ache and asked her if she had any spare cotton, the realisation came to her.

Firstly she had managed to speak to the father’s mother, asking matter of factly, as they were both fetching water, how he was getting on, over in East Rainton. His mother beamed a broad, proud smile, ‘He’s getting wed, met a right bonny young lass. It’ll be in the spring just as his bond’s due again as he’s hoping to get them a house.’

Mary nodded weakly, wishing that they hadn’t kept their courting secret, ‘how lovely, our Ann’s getting wed then too’ whilst inwardly she thought ‘oh yes, I know all about the house plans. ‘

She had been so afraid when she needed to speak to her Da, had waited a few more days to be certain, but as she raised her eyes to his that night in front of the fire, where she had expected to see anger, she saw sadness and acceptance.

‘We’ll fetch Mrs Daniels round and let her have a look at you, I wish yer Ma was still here.’

And that was it, no more was said. The neighbours obviously knew, some looked at her and shook their heads, but Mrs Daniels let it be widely known that the father had gone to East Rainton for work but had died shortly afterwards, which although only partly true, seemed to appease most of them.

Now, two and a half years later, most of them that knew had moved away too, and things at home had developed in their own way. John had taken to calling his grandfather Da, as the rest did, and called her Maw-maw, not quite being able to say Mary. She had loved him, fed and cared for him of course, but could see the sense in her father’s words when John was just six months old, ‘You still need to make your own life, and not be stuck here with me. It’s like my John’s come back to me, and he’ll be with family so you won’t need to worry. You will know when the time is right.’ And now, it seemed the time was right. Ann was long gone, with bairns of her own, young William was soon to go down the pit himself to work alongside Da, and Mrs Garret (a childless widow) had agreed to move in in her place and keep the house while both men worked.

And so Mary found herself on the eve of her wedding, having to bid her young son farewell....